Nothing to see here …

Soon your fancy interweb browsers will be directed to the all-new SportsPickle.com. 

That will happen on July 15th actually. (You may have seen mention of that date around here recently.)

Nothing new will be posted here until the re-launch as I finalize all of the new stuff. In fact, nothing will be posted here ever again. 

Suck it, WordPress.

EDIT: I would appreciate it if you all would use this post — which will still be accessible via sportspickle.wordpress.com — to leave any feedback or comments on the new site. Word? Word.

TV tonight

Braves (39-43) at Cubs (41-39) — 8:05 p.m. ET on WGN

Ryan Dempster gets the start tonight for the Cubs. He is 5-5 on the season with a 4.09 ERA and hasn’t won consecutive starts all season. He is a model of inconsistency. You could say he is such a Cub, Dempster.

Try to forget the time

Watch from 1:30 to 2:30. Then remember that Magic Johnson was given his own talk show after this video.

If anyone had to die, it shouldn’t have been the first two performers in the king’s court. And it definitely shouldn’t have been Michael Jackson. 

It should have been the TV executive who green-lighted “The Magic Hour.”

July 15th in history

1932 – President Herbert Hoover cuts his own salary by 15-percent. Exactly 77 years later, SportsPickle.com relaunches by increasing its own awesomeness by 1,500-percent.

Correcting our mistakes on Michael Jackson

In our culture, we rarely honor a person properly before they die. And, once they pass on, we regret not being more open with our feelings. 

So it was with Michael Jackson.

But we can make amends for our mistakes. Today, as one Michael Jackson is laid to rest in Los Angeles, we can choose to honor another Michael Jackson  — one who was a public figure, but perhaps not quite the international star that the now-deceased pop singer was.

Yes, former Browns and Ravens receiver Michael Jackson.

So let’s take a moment to honor him while we still have the chance.

— Although you retired at age 29 in 1998, I always thought you were good enough to stick around for another year or two as a fifth receiver on a team with poor depth at the position.

— The other Michael Jackson wore one glove. You wore two gloves. So you definitely had him beat there.

— In 1996 your 16 TDs tied Atlanta’s Tony Martin for most receiving scores in the NFL. Wow. Michael Jackson and Tony Martin. What a piss poor season for NFL receivers. But, still — congratulations.

— You averaged 11.0 yards per carry during your career. Granted, this was on two carries, one of which went for 21 yards. But, if you wanted to, you could tell Jim Brown to suck it.

— Remember that great catch you had against the Bengals? I don’t. But chances are you had one. You played them twice a year for eight years and the Bengals blow. I hope you had one.

— Your playing height was 6’4″. Being tall is cool. Also, now in retirement, you can probably reach a lot of things around the house. So that’s probably a big help.

— As far as we know, in your three seasons in Baltimore — 1996 to 1998 — you never committed a crime. Well done. Also, in your 40 years as Michael Jackson, you never slept with a kid. Double well done.

“It’s awesome to win a stage.”

“But I hope they keep thinking these are polka dots. I’m screwed if they find out they are injection marks.”

TV tonight

“SportsNation” — 4:00 p.m. on ESPN2

This is a debut of a new interactive show on ESPN2. I may be on this show in the future. But I will not be on today’s debut. So it will definitely not get cancelled after one episode.

July 15th in history

1869 — Margarine is patented in France by Hippolyte Mege Mouries. Exactly 140 years later, people throughout the world would enjoy margarine-topped breakfast pastries while going online to see the re-launch of SportsPickle.com

Sarah Palin’s next career choice … basketball coach?

Based on her resignation speech, who knows?

If you listen up to the 1:00 mark, you heard this bit of basketball wisdom …

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me – sports… basketball. I use it because you’re naïve if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can win. And I’m doing that – keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities – smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it’s time to pass the ball – for victory. 

So here is what that that gameplan might look like on Coach Palin’s locker room chalkboard. 

Nothing but cliched, pointless crap, right? Of course. It’s Sarah Palin. 

But don’t think she can’t be successful as a basketball coach. Cliched, pointless crap is their stock-in-trade. Check this out: 

And that guy is one of the most successful coaches in the NBA. 

So watch, your backs, basketball coaches.

As losses rear their heads, where- where will GMs and athletics directors go? It’s Sarah Palin. And which coaching jobs will she take? All of ’em. Any of ’em that have been in front of her over all these years.

“Congratulations on winning.”

“But I’m using this plate to reflect light right into your wife’s eyes, ruining the whole ceremony for her. How do you like that, you greedy piece of crap?”