Braves (39-43) at Cubs (41-39) — 8:05 p.m. ET on WGN
Ryan Dempster gets the start tonight for the Cubs. He is 5-5 on the season with a 4.09 ERA and hasn’t won consecutive starts all season. He is a model of inconsistency. You could say he is such a Cub, Dempster.
“SportsNation” — 4:00 p.m. on ESPN2
This is a debut of a new interactive show on ESPN2. I may be on this show in the future. But I will not be on today’s debut. So it will definitely not get cancelled after one episode.
Giants (42-34) at Cardinals (41-38) — 8:15 p.m. ET on ESPN
Cardinals 3B Mark DeRosa has gone 0-for-9 since being acquired from the Indians. Then last night he hurt himself swinging. Yes, swinging. I hope that means he pulled a muscle while engaging in relations with a friend’s wife or that’s a pretty embarrassing injury for a baseball player.
No. 6 Andy Roddick vs. Lleyton Hewitt (Wimbledon quarterfinals) — ESPN2
This is not Andy Roddick.
Or Lleyton Hewitt.
I actually call the one on the left Hooter. And the one on the right Hooter No. 2. (I get flustered and lose my creativity around hot nakedness.)
But I still feel this picture is relevant.
(Okay, if you must know, this is Brooklyn Decker — Andy Roddick’s wife. But now you just went and ruined the fun of it. Jerk.)
There is absolutely nothing on. Really. Go outside or read a book or something.
What’s that? Did somebody say read a book? Why, just look what book is back on the Amazon.com Bestseller List again …
And this is more than two years after the book came out! Few books in history have that kind of staying power. Yet there I am — No. 34 on the Amazon.com Bestseller List (in the Bargain Books: Humor, Comics & Pop Culture section).
Mets (37-37) at Brewers (40-35) — 7:05 p.m. ET on ESPN
The Mets are coming off of a three-game sweep at the hands of the Yankees. The Brewers have lost five in a row at home. Something has to give. (Most likely it will be Prince Fielder’s belt buckle or a hamstring of one of the Mets regulars.)
No. 6 Andy Roddick vs. No. 20 Tomas Berdych (Wimbledon 4th Round) — 1:00 p.m. ET on ESPN2
Am I going to watch this? No, probably not.
But Andy Roddick is typically such a failure on the court that he rarely provides any opportunities to run a picture of his wife. So I’m taking that opportunity now.
And if Roddick is somehow out-choked by other players for the rest of the tournament and advances to the Wimbledon finals or even wins the tournament … well, expect the new site design to be a massive picture of Brooklyn Decker with my writing in 0.00008-font inside her navel.