July 15th in history

1869 — Margarine is patented in France by Hippolyte Mege Mouries. Exactly 140 years later, people throughout the world would enjoy margarine-topped breakfast pastries while going online to see the re-launch of SportsPickle.com

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Sarah Palin’s next career choice … basketball coach?

Based on her resignation speech, who knows?

If you listen up to the 1:00 mark, you heard this bit of basketball wisdom …

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me – sports… basketball. I use it because you’re naïve if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can win. And I’m doing that – keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities – smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it’s time to pass the ball – for victory. 

So here is what that that gameplan might look like on Coach Palin’s locker room chalkboard. 

PALINCOACHNothing but cliched, pointless crap, right? Of course. It’s Sarah Palin. 

But don’t think she can’t be successful as a basketball coach. Cliched, pointless crap is their stock-in-trade. Check this out: 

And that guy is one of the most successful coaches in the NBA. 

So watch, your backs, basketball coaches.

As losses rear their heads, where- where will GMs and athletics directors go? It’s Sarah Palin. And which coaching jobs will she take? All of ’em. Any of ’em that have been in front of her over all these years.

“Congratulations on winning.”

“But I’m using this plate to reflect light right into your wife’s eyes, ruining the whole ceremony for her. How do you like that, you greedy piece of crap?”

Andy Roddick loses, we all lose

Andy Roddick pushed Roger Federer to the longest Wimbledon final in history, but he still lost.

So, sorry — no Brooklyn Decker photo today.

However, as a consolation prize, I am including this photo of a Brooklyn double-decker tour bus.

Double-decker. HOT.

And as consolation punishment — to perhaps really make Roddick’s loss sting — here is something far less sexy than a bus: Roger Federer’s pregnant wife, Mirka …

July 15, 2009

Oh. Yeah.

SI: From The Vault

Taking a look at old Sports Illustrated covers …

SIcowgirls

 

 

 

 

Whores They Are Now?

The Original 1972 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

 

 

 

 

 

Ohno? Oh, Yes!

Despite the advice of everyone in the publishing industry, we put a short-track speedskater on the cover

 

SIasterisk

 

 

 

 

 

Asterisks’ Day

Asterisky asterisk **** asterisk * von asterisk **** asteriskenheim *

Captions

Wimbledon edition …

“Don’t. Don’t do it. If you start beatboxing, it will only enforce stereotypes in this country.”

“I’m just saying, you know I could have any other man here, right? So you should be grateful and not piss me off, okay? Let’s not pretend you’re all that attractive. I mean, come on. I didn’t marry you for any physical reasons.”

“A-ha-ha-ha. I was just kidding. But, no … I wasn’t. Count your blessings, old man.”

“Oh, please. Here we go again. ‘It wasn’t my fault I went out. You hit me there!’ Please. Give it a rest, ball.”

“Ooooh! Lookie there, Martha, she’s dreadfully snagged in the tarp!” “Oooh, yes. Yes indeed. Quite so. I fear she is hopelessly off course!” “Right you are, mum! It’s quite a spot she’s in, that! What do you say we go have bit of tea, clean out chimneys and not go to the dentist?” “Bloody hell bollocks fish ‘n’ chips, govnuh! That sounds like a mighty fine idea if I ever have heard one. God Save the Queen, etc!”