New Nike puppet commercial reviews Cavs/Shaq trade

Statler: “Shaquille O’Neal?! He’s old! And lazy!” 

Waldorf: “And slow!”

Statler: “Very slow! But not as slow as Zydrunas Ilgauskas. He’s the slowest.”

Waldorf: “Very true. Although Ben Wallace is almost as slow.”

Statler: “Yes! Degrees of slow. Degrees of suck.”

Waldorf: “So who sucks more out of this trade — the Cavaliers or the Suns?”

Statler: “Who got Sasha Pavlovic?”

Waldorf: “What’s a Sasha Pavlovic?”

Statler: “Exactly!”

[They both laugh wildly.]

Waldorf: “Wait, I think this is supposed to be a Nike commercial.”

Statler: “Oh, right. We better say something about Nike.”

Waldorf: “Nike … it’s got to be the shoes.” 

Statler: “These teams better hope it’s the shoes … because they SUCK at basketball!”

[They both laugh wildly.]

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