Dirk Nowitzki speaks

Dirk Nowitzki has finally spoken out about his relationship with Cristal Taylor, his 37-year-old ex-fiancee. Of course, Nowitzki spoke to a sympathetic publication — Germany’s Bild Magazine — so his comments were heavily edited.

“In the beginning, I was very down and disappointed, sad and furious. It was humiliating to have the whole world know that I was engaged to a really ugly, old chick. Lots of people have sex with ugly chicks — most of the men in the world, in fact — but they never have their partner’s face splashed all over the media. But I made a few steps forward, hooked up with a few hot groupies, nailed a teammate’s wife, and I think someday I will be over it totally.

“I still want to have a family, but first the wounds must heal. Literally. She cut my nuts off and I have to have them re-attached. However, I still want to have a few little Dirks running and flopping around later. But it won’t be easy to win my heart. I will have high standards. Well, higher standards. A potential girlfriend will have to be a 5 or 6 or above and younger than 35 from now on.

On meeting his fiancee: 

“We talked, texted and e-mailed a lot over the next three years, but we never met. It was more of an Internet type of flirt. So basically one-handed texting and a bit of video masturbation followed by shame. Lots of shame. We had daily contact, then none for months — mainly when the shame got really intense. But we were friends for so long, we finally met and the first meeting was good because she was open to Kobe-style, so I didn’t have to see her face. Then in December, we got engaged, but we didn’t have a real date for the wedding. She had further plans — a few of her aliases were getting married in the spring — and wanted to get married in July.”

“It’s not as though something really bad happened. I showed bad judgment, and that’s that. Life goes on. I learned that from our general manager when he traded Devin Harris for Jason Kidd.

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One response to “Dirk Nowitzki speaks

  1. awesome. when i saw this story i couldn’t BELIEVE that a 30 yr old rich hoops player would be marrying that. hell, russian brides come cheap and you can probably buy them by the dozen.

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