Brett Favre’s family has booked a block of 25-30 rooms at a Green Bay hotel for the weekend of Vikings-Packers.
I did a little research on the hotel to find out what kind of digs America’s First Family stays in when not mowing it up in Hattiesburg or fighting bears with their bare hands or whatever.
Check out the amenities:
> Complimentary Breakfast — Nice. But the Favres only eat meat and potatoes with pinch of salt of the earth.
> Fitness Center — Have to stay in shape for those two-hand touch football games in the grassy field back home. And the gym dress code better allow jeans.
> Airport Shuttle — But does the Green Bay airport have flights direct to Hattiesburg? And can the shuttle be a big farm tractor pulling a wagon full o’ Favres?
> Pets Allowed — Fantastic. There’s room for you to sleep at the foot of the bed, Peter King.
> Pool — This is a regional term. In Hattiesburg they are called “community cleanin’ ponds.”
> Restaurant On-site — Back home, the nearest restaurant is 1,025 miles away. And the Favres have to mow uphill both ways.
> Hot Tub — Oh, yes. Mark Chmura will definitely be there.
> Room Service — Can we get some Oxycontin up here?
> High Speed Internet — Not necessary. The Favres don’t use the Internet. Too new-fangled. They text message the media directly with their propaganda.
All in all, it looks like a pretty fancy place. I mean, a Best Western motor lodge. Whoo-eee. Niiiiiice. So much for your everyman image — eh, Favre? Soon you’re family will be living large in the penthous (second floor) at a Motel 6.