Hey, Tony, it’s me — Box of Office Depot Paper

Hey, Tony! Down here. It’s me. Nondescript box of printer paper from Office Depot. Congratulations on winning Pocono, man. Great job.

So I was thinking … I’m a team player and I want what’s best for you. So what would you think if I take more of a behind-the-scenes role from now on? I’m just not sure if I’m cut out for the spotlight, you know?

I appreciate everyone giving me the chance. But I honestly don’t think I’m model hot. I’m attractive, I think, but not model hot. I think we could probably do better.

Look at Sprint’s Palm Pre over here. That’s the best product they having going right now. It’s black, it’s shiny, it’s full of cool technology. That’s what Sprint decided to show off. And for good reason. They didn’t put up a car charger on top of the car or a leather phone holder you can snap onto your belt or a detachable cell phone face. They went with something that would catch people’s eyes.

So maybe for Office Depot, we could do better than me — better than a box of plain, white, printer paper. Like, I don’t know … just thinking out loud here … the printer that I go in. Some of those are pretty nice, you know. They can print, copy, fax, e-mail, scan — all wirelessly. And I’m sure there are many other attractive options outside of a printer.

Anyway, just something to consider. Just an idea to maybe get fans a little bit more excited about Office Depot.

Congratulations again, man.

And if you need to print anything on white, all-purpose paper during your celebration, you know where I’ll be.

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