Espnessence

You have heard of “sexting,” right? IT IS DESTROYING OUR CHILDREN! KNOCKING UP OUR DAUGHTERS! MAKING OUR DAUGHTERS SLUTS! ALLOWING OUR SONS TO HAVE SEX WITH WHOEVER THEY WANT WHENEVER THEY WANT TO! (High-five, sons. You’re grounded, daughters!)

Well, sex-related texts aren’t the only thing a vigilant parent needs to be concerned about.  There are sports-related acronyms and code words that are just as dangerous.

Click here.

VORP: Value Over Replacement Player
This is a very advanced statistic used in baseball. Be concerned: Your child has likely been in repeated contact with adult sabermetricians — an often-awkward, socially backward lot — either online or in person. Worst of all, his or her childlike enjoyment of baseball has been forever tainted.

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2 responses to “Espnessence

  1. Kids these days don’t know how hard we hard to work to get porn back in the day.

  2. Nothing like some good ole’ scrambled porn

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