Tebow’s chastity belt

Percy Harvin says former Florida Gators teammate Tim Tebow routinely turns down sex from actor types and members of the media. To me, this makes him 50-percent better than Tom Brady, as Brady turns down sex from media members (Peter King) but impregnates actors (Bridget Moynahan).

Anyway, here is Harvin’s quote:

“If I could trade places for a day with anyone, it would be my old (Florida) teammate, Tim Tebow. Some of the stuff and some of the girls and things that were thrown at him. We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, “Tebow, I want you.” And he turned them down. I’m looking at him, like, “Man, you are crazy.”

I don’t see how Harvin was so surprised. Didn’t he ever see Tebow shower after practice or a game? Tebow wears a chastity belt — a chastity belt with a very large inscription:

The Promise

To the fans and everybody in Gator Nation, I’m sorry. I’m extremely sorry. You were hoping to do me. That was your goal, something no one has ever done to me down here.

I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any player in the entire country play as hard as I will play the rest of the season. You will never see someone with more untapped energy and frustration as I will have for the rest of the season.

You will never see a guy play harder than I will the rest of the season. And I mean that literally. I am so hard right now.

– Tim Tebow


3 responses to “Tebow’s chastity belt

  1. Everytime I see that photo I jizm my pants.

  2. sportspickle

    You’re going to rust your chastity belt doing that.

  3. Reter Rypterhymem

    So this kid speaks with a lisp, listens to Kenny Cheney, circumcizes phillipino boys, and turns down all sexual offers…

    Nothing gay about that at all.

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