Captions

Kentucky Derby edition …

“Thanks for your help, Little Man Upstairs.”

“Yum.” “Yum.” “Yum.”

“And down the stretch we come.”

“Yeah, dude. Funneling a mint julep rules.”

“Midget power!”

“That clump reminds me of Romo in the playoffs.”

“I feel like this gives my boyfriend a target to shoot at.”

“A pre-race tossed salad always loosens up my horse.”

“I’m going to go harvest this steed’s semen.”

“Look, Guadalupe, I told you to never call me when I’m at the track. I’m sure my daughter will turn up.”

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