This Weekend’s New Book To Not Read

101 Baseball Places To See Before You Strike Out by Josh Pahigian

Hmm, a book full of interesting baseball sites to visit. That sounds interesti- … hey, what do you mean before I strike out? Who are you to tell me I’m going to strike out, a-hole? You don’t know anything about me. I’m actually a fairly capable slow-pitch softball player, thank you very much. And to strike out in slow-pitch softball you pretty much have to be athletically disabled.

What’s that? You didn’t mean before I strike out literally? You mean … before I die?!

Oh, yeah … that’s soooo much better.

You know what? Screw you, guy. You sound like a total prick. I definitely do not need to buy a book that’s so flippant about my death.

I’m going to start writing my next book: Josh Pahigian, Author of Baseball Books, Is Going to Die of AIDS of the Eye by DJ Gallo. I trust you’ll enjoy its morbid tone.

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5 responses to “This Weekend’s New Book To Not Read

  1. My death will be a deep flyout, not a strikeout. This Pahigian guy is lame!

  2. With my luck, I’ll foul off a bunt attempt for my 3rd strike

  3. Gimpy McNoLegs

    I’m going to strike out on a wild pitch, huff and puff my way desperately to first base, only to be nipped by the catcher’s throw at the last possible microsecond. There’s always hope until it gets brutally snuffed out by reality.

  4. 101 Baseball Places To See Before Your Lazy Ass Gets Picked Off First Base

  5. I will hit a ball into the CF wall, which will kind of get stuck, but the CF will get out, all while I am rounding third heading for home to record an inside the park HR; but just get gunned down at home as I barrel over the C.

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