Jim McMahon is quite literal

In the 1985 smash hit “The Super Bowl Shuffle,” Bears quarterback Jim McMahon “rapped”: 

I’m the punky QB, known as McMahon. 
When I hit the turf, I’ve got no plan. 
I just throw my body all over the field. 
I can’t dance, but I can throw the pill. 
I motivate the cats, I like to tease. 
I play so cool, I aim to please. 
That’s why you all got here on the double 
To catch me doin’ the Super Bowl Shuffle.

The “pill.” He likes to “tease.” He aims “to please.” 

All obvious instances of foreshadowing considering McMahon’s latest business venture: MVP Male Vitality Performance pills. Claims McMahon in the ad: “… now I’ve got a play to make YOU a champion in the bedroom … MVP enhances my pleasure, desire and performance every time, it’s a winner!” (And now my trademark headband is used as a cock ring!)

So clearly McMahon was rapping about boner pills back in 1985. As for Bears safety Gary Fencik?: 

It’s Gary here, and I’m Mr.Clean. 
They call me “hit man,” 
Don’t know what they mean. 
They throw it long and watch me run, 
I’m on my man, one-on-one. 
Buddy’s guys cover it down to the bone, 
That’s why they call us the 46 zone. 
Come on everybody let’s scream and yell, 
We’re goin’ to do the Shuffle, 
Then ring your bell. 

He’s “clean.” He pretends to not know what people say about him. They “throw it long” and “watch [him] run” to it. He’s “on [his] man, one-on-one.” He covers it “down to the bone.” “Come on everybody.”

It’s okay, Gary. 2009 is a much different time than 1985. You can be your true self. People will still accept you.

I think we suspected it all this time anyway. I mean, you chose to play for the Bears, after all.


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