FIU stands for “F–k It Up” (where “it” = their basketball program)

(Scene: A conference room at Florida International University. A young, busty secretary pours coffee for the university’s president and athletic director, then leaves the room.)

AD: Okay, I think I have someone in mind to coach our basketball team.

President: Shoot.

AD: So he has a history of sexual harrassment, he lets his employees bang interns, he’s a a laughingstock in his profession, and he blamed a suicide attempt on his 16-year-old daughter.

President: And?

AD: Well, he does have a winning smile and he makes a heck of a batch of popcorn. So … what do you think?

President: You had me at sexual harassment and doing interns. [He presses the intercom button.] Hey, sugar-tits. Come in here and freshen up my coffee. I want to see you bend over my cup again. And bring your intern, too. We’ve got some celebrating to do.

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One response to “FIU stands for “F–k It Up” (where “it” = their basketball program)

  1. No!!!! Isiah needs to go to the Clippers! Come on! That was gonna be such a perfect pairing. I’m so disappointed. The FIU Home Wreckers. That’s what they are.

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