FIU stands for “F–k It Up” (where “it” = their basketball program)

(Scene: A conference room at Florida International University. A young, busty secretary pours coffee for the university’s president and athletic director, then leaves the room.)

AD: Okay, I think I have someone in mind to coach our basketball team.

President: Shoot.

AD: So he has a history of sexual harrassment, he lets his employees bang interns, he’s a a laughingstock in his profession, and he blamed a suicide attempt on his 16-year-old daughter.

President: And?

AD: Well, he does have a winning smile and he makes a heck of a batch of popcorn. So … what do you think?

President: You had me at sexual harassment and doing interns. [He presses the intercom button.] Hey, sugar-tits. Come in here and freshen up my coffee. I want to see you bend over my cup again. And bring your intern, too. We’ve got some celebrating to do.


One response to “FIU stands for “F–k It Up” (where “it” = their basketball program)

  1. No!!!! Isiah needs to go to the Clippers! Come on! That was gonna be such a perfect pairing. I’m so disappointed. The FIU Home Wreckers. That’s what they are.

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