“I Choked in a Major” — Kenny Perry

Soft piano music. Birds chirping. Jim Nantz and Nick Faldo sit behind the broadcasting desk.

But then the music builds into a driving pop beat. And Nantz and Faldo emerge behind the desk and start writhing seductively on the floor. 

Kenny Perry, wearing a tight, green corset walks between them … and sings …

This never was the way I planned, not my intention
I got so brave, title in hand, lost my discretion
It’s not what I’m used to, didn’t want to try you on [throws green jacket aside] 
I’m curious to lose; it caught my attention
I choked in a major and I liked it
Angel’s ass tastes of cherry chapstick
I choked in a major just to try it
Hope my caddie don’t mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right
It means that I’m not wearing green tonight
I choked in a major and I liked it
I liked it
No, I don’t even know his name [points at Cabrera], it doesn’t matter
You’re my Argentinean game, just human nature 
It’s not what good golfers do, not how they should behave
My swing got so confused and shots were stray
I choked in a major and I liked it
Cabera’s ass tastes like a hairy matchstick
I choked in a major just to try it
Hope my sponsors don’t mind it
It felt so wrong it, it felt so right
And it means that I’m a loser tonight
I choked in a major and I liked it
I liked it
[Points at Phil Mickelson] Us guys we are so magical
Pale skin, man tits, so beatable
Hard to resist, so choke-able
Too good to deny it
It ain’t no bid deal, it’s Augusta
I choked in a major and I liked it
I liked it
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2 responses to ““I Choked in a Major” — Kenny Perry

  1. Gotta love your song parodies. (:

  2. Awesome, Weird DJ Gallo
    (like Weird Al; get it?)
    It’s just not the same when you have to explain it!

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