Soft piano music. Birds chirping. Jim Nantz and Nick Faldo sit behind the broadcasting desk.
But then the music builds into a driving pop beat. And Nantz and Faldo emerge behind the desk and start writhing seductively on the floor.
Kenny Perry, wearing a tight, green corset walks between them … and sings …This never was the way I planned, not my intention I got so brave, title in hand, lost my discretion It’s not what I’m used to, didn’t want to try you on [throws green jacket aside] I’m curious to lose; it caught my attention … I choked in a major and I liked it Angel’s ass tastes of cherry chapstick I choked in a major just to try it Hope my caddie don’t mind it … It felt so wrong, it felt so right It means that I’m not wearing green tonight I choked in a major and I liked it I liked it … No, I don’t even know his name [points at Cabrera], it doesn’t matter You’re my Argentinean game, just human nature It’s not what good golfers do, not how they should behave My swing got so confused and shots were stray … I choked in a major and I liked it Cabera’s ass tastes like a hairy matchstick I choked in a major just to try it Hope my sponsors don’t mind it … It felt so wrong it, it felt so right And it means that I’m a loser tonight I choked in a major and I liked it I liked it … [Points at Phil Mickelson] Us guys we are so magical Pale skin, man tits, so beatable Hard to resist, so choke-able Too good to deny it It ain’t no bid deal, it’s Augusta … I choked in a major and I liked it I liked it