Madden NFL ’10 has nine candidates for the cover of this year’s game.
They are listed below with the likely demise for each.
Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Steelers
Done in by the failings of his shoddy offensive line. (In a cruel twist of fate, they will accidentally run him over with their motorcycles.)
Brandon Jacobs, RB, Giants
Will blow himself up with a hand grenade he had stuck in the waistband of a pair of boxer shorts he was wearing to a black-tie wedding. Or, less likely, he will break a finger when an Eli Manning pass unexpectedly hits him in the hands.
Adrian Peterson, RB, Vikings
Will fumble himself out of the team plane to his death.
Ed Reed, S, Ravens
Will become stuck in Joe Flacco’s unibrow. Weeks later his dead body will be found in a remote plains area of the unibrow, done in by eating poisonous unibrow berries — commonly known among the unibrow plains nomads as Flaccoconuts.