A new low

Cowboys tight end Martellus Bennett blogs for the Dallas Morning News. Yesterday, he posted this

Man what do you do if your chic farts?It doesn’t seem as if women 
should fart. I was walking in the grocery store in the chips and dips 
aisle. This lady was walking in front of me pushing her cart she 
stopped to pick up some pringles and let one rip. Sounded like a growl 
and and a motor but smelt like a dead carcus. OMG! Now I knew it 
wasn’t me LOL and we were the only two people on the aisle. She just 
smiled and kept walking like nothing happened the smell followed her. 
I swear I could see it like smoke out of a train just nasty.

Gross.

And, Martellus, Tony Romo thanks you for not mentioning that the “lady” in front of you in the aisle was Jessica Simpson. (And that the “pringles” were pork rinds. And that the “smoke” you could “see” was actually liquid shart.)

You are a good and loyal teammate.

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2 responses to “A new low

  1. Sounds like Martellus has an unhealthy fascination with anal slippage. He probably googles “fart porn” during the off-season. At least he’s not boning goats.

  2. Did Martellus Bennett really say “OMG” and “LOL”? Does he really have “chic” farts? Are “chic” farts more stylish and elegant than regular farts? Just because he’s some rich football player that I’ve never heard of doesn’t make his farts more chic than mine! I fart class!

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