April Fool’s Day birthdays

Joel Smeenge, defensive end (1968) — When Joel was pulled from his mother’s birth canal at 4:49 a.m. on April 1, 1968, the doctor began screaming “Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! It’s a monster! Monsterrrrrrr!” And then ran from the room with the child. He returned some 19 hours later (on April 2nd) with Joel, happy and healthy, to inform Mr. and Mrs. Smeenge that they had been punk’d.

John “Jumbo” Elliott, offensive tackle (1965) — Elliott was born with a vagina. But, on an April Fool’s Day lark, the attending physician decided to form Elliott’s clitoris into a crude penis. To this day, Elliott is still unaware that she is really female.

Mark Jackson, point guard (1965) — Jackson is quite ugly. Well played, God.

Phil Niekro, pitcher (1939) — Phil was the twin brother of Joe Niekro, but as a prank, the delivering doctor left Joe inside Mrs. Niekro — unbeknownst to her! — for another five years until 1944, when Joe up and walked out of her vagina. Needless to say, it was a pretty good prank and once Mrs. Niekro stopped hemorrhaging, she had a nice laugh about it all.

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