Donna Orender, WNBA commissioner

Donna Orender, WNBA president

In this tough economic climate, the WNBA is trimming roster spots per team from 13 players to 11

You’ll be happy to know that the WNBA has a good grasp of the reality of the situation.

WNBA President Donna Orender said Monday she is confident about the league’s viability … However, she did say cost cutting helped steer the decision.

“It’s definitely a factor,” Orender said. “When you look at costs, you want to spend money that is productive.”

What? What? Not a single dollar spent on the WNBA is productive! Surely you must realize that, Donna. The only thing keeping the WNBA alive from Day 1 was and is David Stern choosing to prop it up year after year after year with NBA money. Do you want to spend money that is productive? Do you? Splurge on a nice, thick pillow and then hold it over the WNBA’s face until it stops kicking.

Monarchs general manager John Whisenant said the effect is he must look for more versatile players when assembling his roster.

“But it’s sad that jobs are lost with the recession we are in. We are just part of it.”

No, you are not a part of it. You see, John, what’s happening now is that good businesses, businesses who did the right things, are being forced to cut jobs or shutter due to the economy. Whereas the WNBA is a terrible business that has been bailed out repeatedly since way back before bailouts were cool. See the difference there? You only exist because David Stern is generous, stubborn and laughably politically correct.

Monarchs coach Jenny Boucek said she can envision the overall competitiveness raised this season, barring injuries. She said the roster contraction can be a positive.

“We don’t want to outgrow ourselves,” Boucek said. “We might have made that mistake in years past.”

 Yes, you might have. Remember that day back in 1996 when the WNBA was announced? About half a second into that press conference you outgrew yourselves.

“The most important thing for those of us who love women’s basketball and believe in it, is that we can sustain in these tough times economically,” Boucek said.

NO YOU CAN NOT. YOU STUPID F-CKING MORONS! Listen. You … can not … sustain … in these tough economic times. Do you want to know why? Because you couldn’t sustain in even good economic times. Jeez. Do WNBA employees really not know that the league has never been financially feasible? That it only exists because David Stern keeps it afloat?

You idiots.

Please, please, please understand why you exist. 

And then remember: Do not look a gift horse in the mouth. Or, as it may be in this case: Do not look a gift WNBA president Donna Orender in the mouth.


6 responses to “WNBA–holes

  1. We all know where the ugly stick has been and whose been getting beat with it.

  2. sportspickle

    With a mug like that, it’s more like Donna REARender, am I right? Thank you, thank you — I’ll be here all week. And, really, every week. You know, because it’s my site.

  3. Tell us how you really feel DJ. One bright note out of this is that with Ms. Orender around, the ugly stick manufacturers are enjoying astronomical profits during these tough times.

  4. Oh snap! WNBA got pwnd!

  5. Isn’t outgrowing yourself how you make the WNBA in the first place? It certainly isn’t by being highly skilled at basketball. Them are some huge b—-s.

  6. What a phenomenally angry post Gallo! It was like reading something off the ESPN comments page, only written in complete sentences and containing a valid point.

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