Figuring Shaquille O’Neal

President’s Day is over. School is back in session. Time for some math.

x=Shaq’s team’s wins / y=Kobe’s team’s wins / q=Shaq’s anti-Kobe comments / d=Shaq’s general dbaggery / p=Shaq’s blatant self-promotion

if x > y then 100q + 100d + 1000p = Shaq

if y > x then 5q + 50d + 1000p = Shaq

How does my math taste?


2 responses to “Figuring Shaquille O’Neal

  1. How does Shaq’s amazing Twitter page factor in here? Is it considered a completely separate variable from Shaq’s blatant self-promotion since it’s simultaneously brilliant and insane?

  2. He’s like the pythagoream thereom. He’s impossible to solve.

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