Derek Jeter’s support of Alex Rodriguez

Derek Jeter goes on record in support of his embattled teammate. Or does he?

“Like I’ve said before, we all support ALEX. He’s our teammate. It seems like that we keep talking about the same things over and over again. It’s not like this IS aNew thing that’s come up. The Only Thing that you’d like to see, going into spring training is, you’d LIKE to see everyone talking about the excitement of the season and getting reaDy for the season. THAT’S the UNFORTUNATE thing.”

“Knowing Mr. Torre, he’s never going to intentionally try to hurt somebody,” Jeter said. “He’s like a second father to me. Everyone knows how close we are. He’s not going to intentionally go out and do harm to somebody. THAT’S not THE KIND OF PERSON HE IS.

I’LL TELL YOU WHAT, I’m probably as excited about this season as any season in a long time,” Jeter said. “We made some great additions. THEy said they wanted to improve our pitching staff and we got arguably two of the best in the game. We added Tex. THey AlwayS talk about how great of a hitter he is. He’s an all-around player.”

“It BOILS down to everybody staying healthy, especially in our division with so many good teams,” Jeter said. “I’m pretty excited about this year.”

We all read it from the mouth of the Yankees captain: “Alex is not liked. That’s unfortunate. That’s the kind of person he is. I’ll tell you what, he has boils.”

Ewww. Gross.

Run with this New York Post! Derek Jeter hates Alex Rodriguez and Rodriguez is covered in unsightly boils. This story should carry you through to the first Yankees-Red Sox series.

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3 responses to “Derek Jeter’s support of Alex Rodriguez

  1. Instead of boils, you could have spelled herpes. I think that is more accurate.

  2. Why stop there? Why not herpes, boils, parasites, syphilis, AIDS, gonorrhea and cholera? Oh wait…

  3. You’re right. But for reasons I will not go into, I don’t find herpes jokes funny. Nor do I find jokes about parasites, syphilis, AIDS and gonorrhea funny. Boils and cholera, though, I do not have them, so they’re funny. Umm, I mean, I do not have them … on my list of unfunny maladies … so they’re funny. Yeah, that’s what I meant.

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