Tyra Banks is a no good, stinking liar

There will be several Super Bowl commercials in 3-D this year. Dreamworks and SoBe Lifewater are airing 3-D spots, and Proctor & Gamble is hoping to drive people to their website for Crest Whitestrips, where a 3-D video is to show an up-close kiss. The idea is to make the case that the strips are not visible. And besides, says the spot’s creative director: “No on really enjoys kissing in 2-D.”

What? WHAT?!

No one really enjoys kissing in 2-D?!?!?!

Are you trying to tell me that all those nights of passion I spent with Tyra Banks’ Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition cover in high school meant nothing to her? 

But I imagined she said it was so real!!!

How could you have used me that way, Tyra? How?!

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, TYRA BANKS! I HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO GET FAT AND GO ALL THE WAY UP TO A SIZE 6!

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3 responses to “Tyra Banks is a no good, stinking liar

  1. Let it go, DJ. Let it go. I know where you live. I will find you and make things right. Tyra and I have been together for 20 years now!

  2. I don’t think Tyra lied to you. When you cut a hole out of the page I think it becomes 3-D.

  3. You are assuming I have enough to be considered 3-D down there. (Which, umm, is a correct assumption, of course!)

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