Stay classy, Tampa

Tampa is hailed as the Strip Club Capital of the World. The Tampa Tribune, the paper of record for the city of strip malls by the bay, even has a searchable strip club database on its website. Take that New York Times — or as it’s called in Tampa: “The old gray lady with sagging breasts I would only get one, maybe two lap dances off of and then do in a bathroom stall.”

Anyway, the database has several searchable categories, including Type (Bikini, G-string, Nude, Pasties, Topless), Cover Charge Less Than, Cover Charge Greater Than, and Dancers (Female, Female But Male For Special Occassions, Male). 

I searched for Pasties, with a cover charge less than 45 cents, and Male and got … nothing. Absolutely nothing! 

Tampa claims to be the “Strip Club Capital of the World,” and there’s not a single club where one can see men wearing pasties for less than 45 cents? Give me a break. 

This is why I stick to carnivals and psychiatric hospitals for my entertainment.

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