More from Mayor Steelerstahl

After garnering publicity for changing his name from Luke Ravenstahl to Luke Steelerstahl, the mayor of Pittsburgh desperately seeks more publicity and adoration from his electorate.

Hastily arranged press conference: 11:37 a.m.

Mayor Steelerstahl: “And, so, to show my support again for the Steelers and my hatred of all things Baltimore, I declare that ravens can be hunted and shot without a license now through kickoff on Sunday!”

Crowd: “Yaaaaaaaaay! We love you, Mayor Steelerstahl!”

Hastily arranged press conference: 12:25 p.m.

Mayor Steelerstahl: “And, so, to show my support again for the Steelers and my hatred of all things Baltimore, I will trim my eyebrows extra-tight before Sunday. I will not look like Joe Flacco!”

Crowd: “Yaaaaaaaaay! We love you, Mayor Steelerstahl!”

Hastily arranged press conference: 1:40 p.m.

Mayor Steelerstahl: “And, so, to show my support again for the Steelers and my hatred of all things Baltimore, I will not destroy my DVDs of ‘The Wire.’ No, I will watch them over and over, to remind myself that Baltimore is a drug-ridden hellhole!”

Crowd: “Yaaaaaaaaay! We love you, Mayor Steelerstahl!”

Hastily arranged press conference: 2:11 p.m.

Mayor Steelerstahl: “And, so, to show my support again for the Steelers and my hatred for all things Baltimore, I will kill crabs — starting with the ones that  have long plagued my pubic area!” (drops pants)

Crowd: (vomits) (plucks eyes out)

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3 responses to “More from Mayor Steelerstahl

  1. Hey, DJ. I wanted to pass this along to you in case you hadn’t enjoyed your daily vomit yet.

    http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9069518/On-the-Mark:-Give-Ray-Lewis-his-due

  2. Look at the columnist’s photo. Doesn’t it look like he’s being stabbed in the stomach? Seriously.

  3. Gimpy McNolegs

    Ugh. Why the fascination with Raykiller? He’s not even the best defensive player on his own team. I’m fully convinced that reporters fawn on him because they’re afraid not doing so will result in their getting viciously shanked.

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