Handicapper is up

Here you go. With seven games left in the season, I have a shot to finish at .500 against the spread! Woooo! How exciting! (Realize I am the Pittsburgh Pirates of sports prognosticating.)

Whenever I hear “Ravens,” I immediately think “unibrow, unibrow, unibrow, two eyebrows joined as one, unibrow, unibrow, unibrow.” I am all-consumed by his unibrow, as though I am his forehead.

Unibrow.

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4 responses to “Handicapper is up

  1. Uh, i am a huge Pirate fan. The Pirates would be happy to even sniff .500. If you were like the Pirates of prognostication you would be trying to hit the .400 mark.

  2. That’s what I’m saying — I’m excited to even have an outside shot at .500. Since I started picking against the spread, I have yet to finish a season at .500 or above. At least the Pirates had that magical plus-.500 season 16 years ago.

  3. If you keep this up I won’t be able to keep up my yacht payments by picking opposite of you. Hopefully next year you will sink back into the abyss like the ’08 Cleveland Browns.

  4. Barack Obama

    Hey, DJ. Don’t worry about the Chargers winning the Super Bowl. Mark my words, I will defeat the BCS even if it takes all 10 years of my presidency. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go bang Cindy McCain.

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